THE PRETTY, THE POPULAR, AND THE PICKED: THE TRUTH ABOUT FAVOURITISM

The Reality of Favouritism: A Quiet Injustice

Favouritism means giving someone unfair advantages, privileges, or opportunities over others  often because of personal attraction, preferences, or appearances.

But how does it feel when you're not the one being favored?

How does it feel when someone prioritizes others and gives them opportunities just because of good looks, physical attraction, or fairness of skin? Is that fair? Is it justified? And more importantly  what are we supposed to do when we see such partiality?

We’ve all experienced it in some form: favouritism, partiality, and bias. And many of us have questioned: if we speak up, does it change anything?

Do biased people ever really change?

Let’s look at the places where favouritism hides most often in the home, in school, and in society.

Parental Favouritism: The Most Silent Wound

What happens when parents love one child more openly than the other?

When one child constantly receives praise for every small act, while the other feels ignored, blamed, or left out?

This kind of imbalance doesn’t go unnoticed especially by the child who feels neglected.

The child who gets fewer words of appreciation… who gets blamed for everything that goes wrong… who’s often taunted or scolded for things done imperfectly begins to feel invisible.

Gradually, they withdraw. They grow distant. Their bond with their sibling weakens. And the home that should be a place of love begins to feel cold.

People often say it’s natural to love some people more than others, and that it’s unintentional. But even unconscious favouritism can deeply affect a child’s self-worth.

Parents have the responsibility to nurture all their children equally not just in material things, but in love, attention, and respect.

If there is a difference in how each child is treated, it must be corrected through honest communication. Children, too, should feel safe enough to speak to their parents when they feel left out or unfairly treated.

Favouritism in a family is not a small thing  it shapes personality, confidence, and emotional health for life.

Favouritism in Society: When Appearance Overshadows Talent. As a child, I often wondered why I didn’t enjoy certain movies or songs  even when the story was good and the music was well-made.

Later, I realized the reason. Many roles weren’t cast based on talent or skill. They were given to people simply because of their physical appearance because they had fair skin, sharp features, or a glamorous image.

This was one of my earliest encounters with societal favouritism the kind that says your looks matter more than your capability. The kind that silently tells talented people they are “not enough” just because they don’t meet a certain aesthetic standard. Even today, this form of favouritism exists in many industries where appearance often wins over hard-earned talent.

Favouritism in Schools: When Some Children Are Always Picked First

A school is like a garden, where every child is a growing plant  each with their own needs, potential, and beauty.

But imagine a gardener who waters only a few plants regularly, while the rest are left to survive on their own. What happens then?

In many schools, some students receive more attention, encouragement, and opportunities  not always because of merit, but because they are the teacher’s personal favorites.

Opportunities are often first handed to these few, and only if they refuse, they’re offered to others. This is disheartening. Every child deserves equal attention and recognition. A teacher’s role is not just to educate, but to support every child with the same care and fairness.

Why does this happen? And why do we allow it, even when we know how it feels?

Why Is Bias So Deeply Rooted?

Favouritism exists in homes, schools, workplaces, and almost every part of life.

But why?

When God created all of us with the same inner anatomy with the same emotions, organs, and soul why is our outer appearance used as a basis to discriminate?

Why do fairness of skin, physical beauty, or familiarity become more valuable than honesty, effort, and character?

What Can We Do?

The first step is to recognize favouritism when we see it and not accept it silently.

The second step is to speak about it, even when it’s uncomfortable not out of anger, but out of a desire for fairness.

And finally, we must remind ourselves and others that:

Love should never be selective

Opportunity should be based on potential

Respect should not depend on appearance or closeness

Because the moment we normalize unfairness, we allow it to grow.

Favouritism may seem small on the surface, but its impact can last for years. It shapes identities, divides relationships, and creates emotional wounds that are hard to heal.

Let us be more mindful as parents, as educators, as individuals to treat others with equality, dignity, and kindness. Because when one person is favored unfairly, another is silently hurting.